Supporting loved ones during difficult times: AFTER passing (3)

If your loved one or someone you know has passed away, please call Puna Hongwanji at 808-966-9981 to arrange a bedside service. Further details can be found in the August issue article. If a bedside service was conducted prior to the passing, another bed side service is not required upon death. However, feel free to contact Rev. Tomioka if you see the need. Depending on the location of passing, authorities, including the police if at a residence, will take care of our loved ones. Please see page 2 of the Puna Hongwanji Funeral Information for the process.

Having a dependable person to handle matters with after a loss can provide immense comfort, as emotions can be intense and overwhelming. BEFORE setting the date and time with a mortuary, it’s important to consult with Rev. Tomioka to accommodate his schedule. The minister will contact the family to discuss the funeral and associated services, ensuring there is a mutual understanding regarding the order of service, MC, reception desk, public or private service, flowers, refreshments, and so forth. It’s beneficial to have someone to inquire about procedures, and you may also assist others in preparation. While supporting the family is valued and appreciated, please confirm any decisions with the minister BEFOREHAND. If uncertain, it’s advisable to seek guidance from the minister rather than make assumptions.

A common question is whether the 7th, and 49th-day memorials can be combined with a funeral. It is generally recommended to observe each service separately, and consulting with a minister is advisable. In Japan, the wake, funeral, and cremation are usually held within a few days of death, with the 7th-day memorial observed accordingly. However, in Hawaii, scheduling all these events in such a manner is impractical due to the need for various coordination. This leads to the question at hand.

My perspective is twofold: firstly, there is no bachi/bad luck/misfortune associated with not observing these services. Secondly, these services are for the living as well as the deceased, as they teach us about life and death. It’s understandable that factors such as travel to Hawaii from other places need to be considered. Ultimately, maintaining a respectful attitude towards these services is crucial. It also supports the grieving process of family and friends, helping them to understand and cope with the loss.

Detailed information can be found in the Funeral Information provided by Puna Hongwanji. Should you require one, please feel free to contact us at 8089669981 or mpunahongwanji@twc.com, or visit our website: Puna Hongwanji Mission | A Pure Land Shin Buddhist temple on Hawaii Island